Thursday, March 27, 2014

W is for Watch Your Words

Yup, here it is. The post I have been promising to write. The first lesson/lecture/tip I got from my life coach. Watching my words. Both the kind I speak and the ones I use in my thoughts. 

To bring you up to speed, I started seeing a life coach because I felt kinda lost, AND it also kinda presented the opportunity to me. Didn't seek it out, rather, it found me. Which I am learning is how this crazy universe works.

So, Type A me walks in to this first meeting with my life coach with a list of goals I wanted to achieve and the timeline in which I wanted to achieve them. Well, that list no longer exists nor did Cheryl (my life coach) care to see it. Of course, I didn't know then that this whole journey is not about checking off a item on a list and moving on. It's about relearning how to work with what I have AND learning new tools to deal with what I encounter. And one of those new tools is, yup, you guessed it, watching my words.

When I spoke in that first session, a lot of hater-like words came out without me even thinking about it. It was natural. I said things like, "only losers are there" or "sucks the soul out of me." All stinkin thinkin type of words. Cheryl let me go on and on and when I was done she said the first thing she wants me to practice is watching my words. Hmmm, that wasn't on my list. Shit. I'm thrown for a loop. Not only that, but as a creative, my words are very important to what I do. Shit.

She continued to say that the words I use define the way I view a situation and present myself and that the negative ones serve me no purpose. I knew what she meant, and I didn't disagree, but I never realized that what I said or thought really affected me, a situation, others around me...but I was willing to give this challenge a try. I mean, what Type A-er doesn't love a good challenge?

SO...I started to think before I spoke. That took A LOT of practice. And when a negative comment (small or large, innocent or intended) flew out of my mouth, I stopped myself and said out loud, "wait, let me rephrase that." It wasn't easy but over the past few months I have gotten better at it. And it has changed the way I see the world, my day, the people I interact with, and so on. And I think it changes the way people view me AND who I relate to.  

When you change your words, both internally (ie: thoughts) and externally (your conversations) you change your day. There is a saying in the spiritual world (ok, there are a lot, but this one is apropos for this post): The quality of your thoughts (for this blog post purpose, WORDS) determine the quality of your day. And wanna know something? I agree. I've experienced both sides and can say this is so fucking true. Now I think before I speak and it almost comes naturally. Almost. And I make sure I watch what I say, think and feel. I don't hate or moll over my negative thoughts as much anymore; but rather thank them for coming and then think and speak more positively. 

But fret not, just because I am watching my words, doesn't mean I am not who I am when speaking the truth. (Or that I will speak kindly about The Patriots or Red Sox ;) ) I just do it more tactfully. And with better words. But the 4-letter kind are still a part of my vocab. I am me afterall. And sometimes when words escape me, a good "SHIT" really helps.