Tuesday, May 20, 2014

B is for Breaking Up. As in it's hard to do?

Break ups. They S-U-C-K. Or do they?

Sometimes we get dumped. Other times we do the dumping. And once in a blue moon it's an amicable and mutual break-up. However, we only think about break-ups as they apply to romantic relationships. But what about break-ups with your old habits? Mainly, your old self who had those bad habits?

If you are following along, you know what I mean. If you're new, let me bring you up to speed. Recently I have decided to change. Being a hater, being Type A, it's what I knew. It was who I was. Until one day, I didn't want to be this negative ball of goop. So I sought help. I hired a life coach AND started acupuncture (and Yoga, but I've been flirting with that for years). And it's changed me. And for the better. However, lately I have been hitting some speed bumps along the way and I found myself back in the world of hating, like booty calling an ex whom I was never really into but stayed with anyway because hey, he was good to me.

It's not easy breaking up with your old self. Trust me. My old self and I have been through a lot. And she was there for me every step of the way. So when things get tough, I fall back into a relationship with her (ok...me; but for this sake let's keep it third person) because, well, I felt like she was tougher. However, I noticed something this time around. I didn't care much for her anymore. I noticed, and rather quickly, the bad habits that made me want to break up with her in the first place: the screaming, the yelling, the judging, the picking on, the cursing, the excessive horn honking, the plotting and scheming and so on. And here's the good thing, I noticed the habits all by myself. No session with the Life Coach needed. Why, you ask? Because for now, we are broken up. (And it was HARD) See, we had a session recently where some things were said that stuck in my head and got to me and actually had the reverse effect, they made me negative. And it's not the kind of things that "I needed to hear," but the kind of things that made me say, "maybe we are on two different pages right now." So, like any other relationship that has taken a turn in a direction that isn't suitable for me, I took a break. Not sure if it was mutual but she (the Life Coach, not my old self...stay with me here) is ok with it.

And the same goes for me and my old self. We are breaking up, again.

The best part is that I was able to break-up with my old hatin' self with all the tools I have gained, like: trusting and not worrying, asking for help, recognizing what serves me and what doesn't, being ok with transition and most importantly, staying in my best self (we all have definitions/visualization of what that is, I encourage you to write yours down). Ok, really, the most important thing is family but I'll touch upon this this week. And you wanna know something? This time the break up wasn't all that hard to do. So much so, I might even delete my old self from my proverbial mental cell phone. And wanna know something else? I don't think that will be so hard to do after all.

(Note: I will be seeing my Life Coach again. I just need some me time. She is an excellent person and truth be told, sometimes we need people that make us uncomfortable...in a non-hating way. I'll keep you posted on this.)

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